THE BRIEF
Our transfer errors say things like 'Error 4012: transaction could not be processed.' Members call us confused. Rewrite our 20 transfer error messages so people know what to do.
Scenario: Product designer at a credit union's mobile app team
Package: Error message set, 20 messages · $40 · 2 hrs
Cut 40%. Nothing important went.
THE RULE
Say what happened. Say what to do. Skip the error code unless support needs it, and then put it last.
THE SET (FIRST 10 OF 20)
| # | Before | After | Words before / after |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Error 4012: Transaction could not be processed. | Transfer didn't go through. Try again in a few minutes. | 6 / 10 |
| 2 | Insufficient funds available for the requested transaction amount. | Not enough money in Checking. Choose a smaller amount or a different account. | 9 / 13 |
| 3 | Daily transfer limit exceeded. Please contact support. | You've hit today's $2,500 limit. Try again tomorrow. | 7 / 9 |
| 4 | Invalid routing number entered. | That routing number doesn't match a bank. Check the 9 digits. | 4 / 11 |
| 5 | Session has timed out due to inactivity. | You were signed out to keep your account safe. Sign in to finish. | 7 / 13 |
| 6 | Recipient account could not be verified. | We couldn't find that account. Check the number with the person you're paying. | 6 / 14 |
| 7 | Transfer date must be a valid business day. | Pick a weekday. Transfers don't go out on weekends or holidays. | 8 / 11 |
| 8 | Amount field is required. | Enter an amount. | 4 / 3 |
| 9 | Network error. Please try again later. | No connection. Check your signal and try again. | 6 / 8 |
| 10 | Duplicate transaction detected. | You sent this same amount to Sam 2 minutes ago. Send again? | 3 / 12 |
- #
- 1
- Before
- Error 4012: Transaction could not be processed.
- After
- Transfer didn't go through. Try again in a few minutes.
- Words before / after
- 6 / 10
- #
- 2
- Before
- Insufficient funds available for the requested transaction amount.
- After
- Not enough money in Checking. Choose a smaller amount or a different account.
- Words before / after
- 9 / 13
- #
- 3
- Before
- Daily transfer limit exceeded. Please contact support.
- After
- You've hit today's $2,500 limit. Try again tomorrow.
- Words before / after
- 7 / 9
- #
- 4
- Before
- Invalid routing number entered.
- After
- That routing number doesn't match a bank. Check the 9 digits.
- Words before / after
- 4 / 11
- #
- 5
- Before
- Session has timed out due to inactivity.
- After
- You were signed out to keep your account safe. Sign in to finish.
- Words before / after
- 7 / 13
- #
- 6
- Before
- Recipient account could not be verified.
- After
- We couldn't find that account. Check the number with the person you're paying.
- Words before / after
- 6 / 14
- #
- 7
- Before
- Transfer date must be a valid business day.
- After
- Pick a weekday. Transfers don't go out on weekends or holidays.
- Words before / after
- 8 / 11
- #
- 8
- Before
- Amount field is required.
- After
- Enter an amount.
- Words before / after
- 4 / 3
- #
- 9
- Before
- Network error. Please try again later.
- After
- No connection. Check your signal and try again.
- Words before / after
- 6 / 8
- #
- 10
- Before
- Duplicate transaction detected.
- After
- You sent this same amount to Sam 2 minutes ago. Send again?
- Words before / after
- 3 / 12
Some got longer. That's fine. They got clearer.
BUTTONS ON THE ERRORS
- "OK" became "Try again" or "Change amount." Buttons are verbs.
- "Contact support" became "Call us" with the number.
- No "please" on buttons.
READ OUT LOUD
I read every message as a member at a gas station with one bar of signal. Number 10 made me pause: "Send again?" needs both buttons, "Send again" and "Cancel."
Less. — Megan
